Our Super-Dooper Cookies Policy
Actually, where we come from we don't call them cookies, or we didn't when Lex was just a little joey, before the perfidious influence of the United States of America's bastardised form of English began to take over from our good old Aussie dialect. We call them biscuits, so take that Cookie Monster. You're really a Biscuit Monster. Anyway, our policy on biscuits is to eat them if you like them, and chuck them at passing wombats if you don't.
And, hey, European Union, what have you got against biscuits? We reckon the English are misguided, misled, anti-analytical, and all-too-willing-to-accept-the-lies-of-self-serving-scum-like-the-almost-unbelievably-appalling-caricature-of-an-English-private-school-twit Boris Johnson for even one third of them voting for Brexit! Good on yer Scots and Northern Irish for having the sense to vote against Brexit!
But crikey, then claiming that a one third vote represents the "voice of the people" and is the "majority opinion" is truly brain boggling, at least to koalas like us. Really, what a truly stupid system.Of course, if any of you are from the good old (being neither "good", just better than China and Russia as the most powerful nation on earth, at least in 2018, nor "old", of course, compared, at least, to said China and Russia!) USA you may not understand our point.
After all, you have a voting system that allows a one quarter vote for some totally delusional, probably psychiatrically unstable, multiply bankrupt, uncontrollably lying, serially sexual molesting, intellectually doubtful, draft dodging (not that we necessarily regard that as a negative, except he lies about it and happily sends other young people off to die), cowardly, economically ignorant dimwit to be claimed as a good enough majority of the potential voting public, even if it's less than the vote gained by the dimwit's opponent, to give the dimwit victory.
And then you give that dimwit access to the most disgracefully destructive weapons in the world, leading us in the rest of the world to hope the weapons have been manufactured as badly as most of your other manufactured goods!
Now, where were we? Ah, yes, the English and Brexit. So, their one third vote is, Brexit's supporters claim, enough of an excuse for not holding a second referendum to give an opportunity to vote to all the stupid donkeys' anal cavities who didn't vote the first time, apparently attempting to justify their failure to fulfil their social responsibilities on the basis that "voting is a dumb waste of time and all this's got nothing to do with me, and I can't be bothered anyway, and I'd rather wipe my arse on grass and leaves, and I don't care if we go back to the industrial stone age, because evryone knows everything was better in the good old days when our forebears tugged their forelocks to violent psychopaths, but were free to die at the average age of thirty ... " or whatever unthinking drongoes say to justify their laziness.
And, of course, a second chance to the equally stupid wombats' turds who turned up to vote thinking they understood what they were voting about, but who were really dancing on the ends of strings being manipulated by puppeteers lying through their teeth, rear ends, and every other available orifice, and who have come to better understand some of the Brexit negatives they failed to consider or about which they now know they believed the lies of the puppeters.
And our point? Well, at least they also call cookies biscuits, and you Europeans make some great biscuits. But we understand some people can't eat biscuits, or at least some of the things in the biscuits, and may need to limit their intake.
So, if you're one of these people, and you're not keen on biscuits that we don't know we unintentionally give you, although we'd be happy to share our biscuits with you freely, then feel free to block them, or whatever it is you have to do, and let us know so we can figure out what we need to do. However, if they're crucial to, for example, the advertising we carry in order to make money for the education of girls in Africa, we may not be able to stop sharing our biscuits, although we guess we would at least then be doing so purposefully.
Oh, but please, please, please don't block the biscuit supply before you buy something through one of our advertisers. After all, it seems nice of them to share their bickies with you, and if you don't want to scoff them you can chuck them out. But still, please click here and let us know, so we can correct our warning.
And, hey, European Union, what have you got against biscuits? We reckon the English are misguided, misled, anti-analytical, and all-too-willing-to-accept-the-lies-of-self-serving-scum-like-the-almost-unbelievably-appalling-caricature-of-an-English-private-school-twit Boris Johnson for even one third of them voting for Brexit! Good on yer Scots and Northern Irish for having the sense to vote against Brexit!
But crikey, then claiming that a one third vote represents the "voice of the people" and is the "majority opinion" is truly brain boggling, at least to koalas like us. Really, what a truly stupid system.Of course, if any of you are from the good old (being neither "good", just better than China and Russia as the most powerful nation on earth, at least in 2018, nor "old", of course, compared, at least, to said China and Russia!) USA you may not understand our point.
After all, you have a voting system that allows a one quarter vote for some totally delusional, probably psychiatrically unstable, multiply bankrupt, uncontrollably lying, serially sexual molesting, intellectually doubtful, draft dodging (not that we necessarily regard that as a negative, except he lies about it and happily sends other young people off to die), cowardly, economically ignorant dimwit to be claimed as a good enough majority of the potential voting public, even if it's less than the vote gained by the dimwit's opponent, to give the dimwit victory.
And then you give that dimwit access to the most disgracefully destructive weapons in the world, leading us in the rest of the world to hope the weapons have been manufactured as badly as most of your other manufactured goods!
Now, where were we? Ah, yes, the English and Brexit. So, their one third vote is, Brexit's supporters claim, enough of an excuse for not holding a second referendum to give an opportunity to vote to all the stupid donkeys' anal cavities who didn't vote the first time, apparently attempting to justify their failure to fulfil their social responsibilities on the basis that "voting is a dumb waste of time and all this's got nothing to do with me, and I can't be bothered anyway, and I'd rather wipe my arse on grass and leaves, and I don't care if we go back to the industrial stone age, because evryone knows everything was better in the good old days when our forebears tugged their forelocks to violent psychopaths, but were free to die at the average age of thirty ... " or whatever unthinking drongoes say to justify their laziness.
And, of course, a second chance to the equally stupid wombats' turds who turned up to vote thinking they understood what they were voting about, but who were really dancing on the ends of strings being manipulated by puppeteers lying through their teeth, rear ends, and every other available orifice, and who have come to better understand some of the Brexit negatives they failed to consider or about which they now know they believed the lies of the puppeters.
And our point? Well, at least they also call cookies biscuits, and you Europeans make some great biscuits. But we understand some people can't eat biscuits, or at least some of the things in the biscuits, and may need to limit their intake.
So, if you're one of these people, and you're not keen on biscuits that we don't know we unintentionally give you, although we'd be happy to share our biscuits with you freely, then feel free to block them, or whatever it is you have to do, and let us know so we can figure out what we need to do. However, if they're crucial to, for example, the advertising we carry in order to make money for the education of girls in Africa, we may not be able to stop sharing our biscuits, although we guess we would at least then be doing so purposefully.
Oh, but please, please, please don't block the biscuit supply before you buy something through one of our advertisers. After all, it seems nice of them to share their bickies with you, and if you don't want to scoff them you can chuck them out. But still, please click here and let us know, so we can correct our warning.