Prospective Trolls: Warning!
Hi there, folks. We know most prospective trolls haven't got the smarts to recognise the very real threat we pose to them. But, if you have noticed the various warnings we've put around the site, please: BELIEVE THEM.
Sadly for you, but not for us, you're puffed up with your false sense of your "smarts", your self-perception of superiority, based on poorly hidden inferiority fears, and total contempt for old turds you reckon are trying to limit your freedom of speech, let alone having the cheek to make what you falsely believe to be a spurious* and time-wasting attempt to limit your fun and/or tell you what and/or what not to do. (* Oh, sorry, in very simple terms, especially for you, "spurious" means "fake", more or less.) Because of the lies you think about yourself, you won't believe anything we write. But, we have to try. We're strong believers in human rights, even for you deluded scum with insanely rampaging emus taking endless turns at kicking the dunnies of your brains. Unhappily, our effort to save you is not helped by the sheer unbelieveability of what we're about to tell you. But, for your own sakes, please, please, believe it. The drawing on the right above is a rare image we smuggled out of one of the near infinite worlds in one of the near infinite alternate dimensions so correctly theorised by Einstein. This earth-like planet in a nearby dimension is a world on which all the occupants are clones of Vlad the Impaler. The bloke so clearly enjoying his experience of one of the Vlad's good deeds is, or, more correctly, "was", the first person to troll us on another of our websites. If you reckon we've finished the unbelievable stuff, well, you'd better gear yourself up. You probably think Dr Who is fictional, and of course that's true of the BBC representation of her. However, that tv program is based, albeit loosely, on the real Gallifreyan, who calls herself Prof. Wot. It happens she befriended a then broke bloke back in 1960s England, who later used the experience to persuade the BBC to make the Dr Who programs. We had the great good luck to recently rescue the Prof. from a potentially hideous death at the hands, or more accurately the suckers, of a crazed exile from the planet Trump. This creature crash landed his stolen spacecraft on earth while fleeing all the inhabitants of his planet he defrauded of their life savings. After proving incapable of persuading any creature from its home planet to come and pick it up, it adopted a vaguely humanoid appearance. Mind you, the orange skin would have been a dead giveaway if some humans' skin didn't turn orange after incorrectly applying lotions to look suntanned. It then continued its old ways, but this time when it looked like being caught as it had been on its home planet, it decided to get elected as president of the USA. Its aim was to use its position to detract attention from its crimes by setting in place a string of potential destructors of life on earth, hoping one or all would succeed. After its 300 year life span ends, of course, which is fortunately near. |
Well, fortunately in the sense the Trumpian monster will soon be dead, but not so fortunate in the sense its schemes are directed towards what would to all, or certainly most, living things on earth be an ending that would arrive with highly unwelcome rapidity.
The Trumpian's intention was to use these means to distract the attention of the all-too-distractable members of humanity with the threats to their survival, and away from all the Trumpian's dodgy criminal dealings. The Trumpian illegally elected (he wasn't born within 100 light years of the United States, in contravention of its constitutional requirement for presidents to be born there, US president's threats to life on earth included:
We're sure you'll be pleased, or, at least, most of you will, to know Prof. Wot, with our help, polishes off the dastardly Trumpian in the very near future, thrusting it head first into the sun. We can assure you, its screams were a true delight to hear. But, this isn't the spot for the full story, and you probably won't believe it anyway, however in return for rescuing her, the Prof. gifted us a device we can use to remotely trigger the transfer of anyone, anytime, from anywhere to ... wait for it, wait for it ... 🎇 The Impaling Vlads' World 🎇 We would not, however, wish it to be thought we're cruel folk. No, no, no. So, if you do decide to continue to troll us we very strongly suggest you fill your pockets with the product pictured below. It won't help much, but it's the thought that counts, as you troll-types no doubt sociopathically tell yourself every time you buy some cheap bit of faecal matter for a rellie on their birthday. |